Letters to Avery: 10 years old

 Dear Avery,

Double digits! I can hardly believe my baby is 10. When you popped out 10 years ago, I had no idea what a gift having a daughter would be. But that is certainly what you are!

Speaking of popping, you popped up bright and early this morning at 5:30, excited to be 10, and ready for a basketball-filled day. Your team got smoked in all three games, but you play with such heart, passion, and grit, no matter the score. Nobody fights for a jump ball like you do. During one such instance today, you completely ripped the ball from a girl (maybe a second or so after the whistle had been blown) and she flew to the ground. But without losing a beat, you immediately went to her and offered her a hand up. The parents were laughing and one noted, "it's like punching somebody in the face and then immediately going over and patting them on the back." It's not a perfect comparison, because you are so kind and would never punch anyone, but you are as fierce as you are kind, and you show that they are not mutually exclusive.

I continue to be awed how comfortable you are in your own skin. My wish for the next ten years is that you maintain that confidence. Keep flexing in the mirror. Keep loving your glasses. Keep seeing yourself for the beauty that you are. 

You're also comfortable in almost any room. You're able to talk to adults in a way that few children can. And it's not only that you are good and tolerate it, but you enjoy interacting with all sorts of people and thrive in environments that make many uncomfortable. I love watching your individual relationships with the UNC players. One of your current favorites is Luka, an international student from Montenegro. You and dad took him shopping and helped move him into his apartment. He cracks you up with his choppy english. There's nothing you like more than tagging along with your father on his work adventures. Do you know how boring others kids' parents' jobs are compared to your dad's?

Avery, you are insightful and thoughtful. You are self-sufficient and independent. You are hilarious and clever. You are competent and helpful. I could think of 100 attributes, but no number of descriptive words can encapsulate just how special you are.  I tell you at least once a week that I feel so lucky to be your mom. The reality is I feel that way each and every day.  I'm so proud of the young lady you're becoming and excited to watch you grow. 

I love you. 

Love,

Mom 

Letters to Brady: 14 years old

 Brady,

It's hard to believe I'm old enough to have a 14 year old. You are about to be in high school and time seems to be passing quicker the older you are. You've dealt with every transition in your life with confidence and ease, and I'm sure the next one will be no different. You entered the world believing you belonged and you've kept that energy.

8th grade was a big year! Your soccer team won the conference championship and your basketball team went undefeated. It is so fun to watch you thrive on the field and on the court.  In social news, after a long wait, you got a cell phone at Christmas. You waited longer than almost all of your friends, but accepted your late fate and took it in stride. You've been a responsible phone user and I don't take that for granted. I don't need to know everything that goes on in your teenage life, but I do appreciate that you are open, honest, and will give us pretty big glimpses into your life.

Though you have teenage tendencies, you are becoming a responsible young man. You faced a challenging social issue this year and I was impressed with your maturity dealing with this issue. You also dealt with it with kindness and empathy and it gave me confidence that you'll be able to handle future challenges.

Happiest birthday to the boy who made me a mother. I love being your mom.

Love,

Mom

Letters to Jack: 12 years old

Jack! Happy birthday, bud. I didn't get to see you today because you were out doing big things in Baltimore with your dad and brother. But there is no doubt that not seeing your mom was a very small sacrifice compared to missing school, riding on your own golf cart with Brady, and living your best life. Happiness is not my highest goal for you or any of my children, but seeing you happy is one of life's greatest gifts.

Your first year of middle school has been nothing short of amazing, and because it has gone so smoothly, sometimes I forget how far you've come. You suffered some pretty debilitating bouts of anxiety leading up to middle school, and it was one of my hardest parenting moments I've ever had to deal with. Seeing you spiral, and feeling unequipped to manage it was one of the more helpless feelings I've had as a mother. I've known that you are very sensitive and feel emotions big since your very earliest days, and one of life's unfair burdens is to place anxiety on those with the biggest hearts. 

Your heart is big and i see it daily in how you treat others. You and Brady got to play on two teams together this year. Beyond the logistical convenience, it was fun to see you both as teammates. One game, Brady packed the wrong baseball pants. Not only did they not fit him, they did not fit you and clearly hadn't made it out of the drawer rotation for some reason. I would guess most brothers would say, hey, not my problem! But not you. You wore skin tight black pants so that your brother could move freely on the field. And I don't even remember hearing you remind him of it later. You are truly a wonderful soul.

I watched you blossom in 6th grade in so many ways. You are an excellent student, and I find myself reminding you that grades don't really matter, because I see how much pressure you put on yourself. You take a lot of pride and everything that you do. You have thrived in the sporting world this year. You followed in your brother's footsteps and made the soccer team without ever having played organized soccer before. Then you tried out for basketball, something you were on the fence about. You made it, of course, but more importantly, you loved it. When your main love, baseball, came around you were thrilled to make the team. You sat the bench most of the season like all the other six graders, but you had such a great attitude and when you did see the field, you crushed it! 

Jack, you are my lowest maintenance child and some days I feel like you don't get the attention you deserve. I hope you felt the love on your birthday. I love being your mom every day. 

Love,

Mom