Sleep seems like a pipe dream right now, an illusive dream that escapes me nightly and seems to be so far out of reach. Perhaps one day I'll look back and miss the sleepless nights and the time when my children were young and innocent. Or perhaps that's just crap said by people who are sleeping through the night without interruption.
The good news is that my body has been prepared for this baby for the last 4 1/2 years of sleeplessness. At certain points during that time, I have slept much better than others, but in general, getting an uninterrupted night of sleep is the exception, not the rule.
Avery is falling right in line with her brothers when it comes to night sleep. That is, she sucks at it! I think she has her days and nights a bit confused and each night, she usually has a stretch of at least an hour when she is awake. Last night was from 4-5:30. During that period, I took a shower and debated just starting my day since Avery seemed to be doing the same. Actually, I showered because at 4:30 while I was burping her, all the milk she had just enjoyed ended up on to my hair and clothes. I have a pretty high threshold for spit up, but when your hair is literally dripping with spit up, its time to jump in the shower.
I do a lot of bargaining with God in the middle of the night but the Man Upstairs rarely is interested in working with me. What generally happens is after feeding and changing Avery, I'll get her to sleep and put her down (she sleeps next to our bed). I made the mistake the first week of going back to sleep at this point, which makes sense, except she always wakes back up after about 10 minutes. So I was waking up about 10 times a night, which is brutal. Now I'll either read my book on my phone or go downstairs to eat a snack. I find its much less painful to deal with Avery if I'm already awake. But there are times when I think that she's finally asleep for good (or for the next two hours), and I allow myself to drift back to sleep. Then she starts to stir. This is where the bargaining usually comes in. God has a good sense of humor, but He won't humor me and my pleas.
To look on the bright side, when I do sleep I sleep HARD. This is a big change from pregnancy. It takes me so little time to fall asleep, another change from pregnancy. So my time in bed is spent efficiently at least! Another positive is I've gotten some great reading done. I'm currently reading "Girl on the Train," which I started about two days ago and I've read 122 pages. Thank goodness to electronic devices that make reading in the dark while nursing/burping/rocking possible! Another bright spot is that this will be the my last newborn to keep me awake at night. I remind myself multiple times per night that this too, shall pass.
Hopefully, this face won't pass too quickly
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