Brady Talk: Roughin' it in the World

Guest columnist Brady will be filling in for me today:

I'm 5 days old today and my mom finally gave me a turn at the keyboard.  First of all, I know my mom thinks she had it rough during my delivery and I appreciate her effort, but being pushed out of your warm, dark, comfy home into a cold room with blinding lights while having some strange man stick a tube down your throat is no walk in the park.  After being evicted from my home, this man handed me to the nurses, who looked nice enough, but it was then I learned my first life lesson: looks can be deceiving.  I let all those nurses know what I thought of them by doing the only thing I could think to do...I peed on them.  And not just once, but three times...so they knew I meant business.  So, first good news of the day: my equipment was working. 

Speaking of nurses, I had my first doctor's visit yesterday.  They stripped me down like I was a prisoner at Sing Sing and put me on the scale.  I knew this was my first big test and I passed with flying colors.  The nurse was very impressed...not only did I gain all my weight back, but I surpassed it by a few ounces!  I give my mom some credit as she has been feeding me some good milk.  To celebrate, I went for my signature move and peed on the nurse. I think I should get some bonus points for 1) holding in the pee until after my weigh-in 2) saving my parents from having to change another diaper.  Everyone laughed, but I don't think the nurse liked it, because next time I saw her she was coming at me with a needle.  Seems that nobody can take a joke around here.  The shot didn't feel so good, but compared to the invasive snip-job they did a few days ago, it was nothing.  That first procedure was a bit traumatic and personal, so I won't go into details.



Me and mom in the doctor's office

Speaking of traumatic, Dad thought it would be fun to give me a sponge bath today.  I think sponge bath is a fancy name for Chinese torture chamber.  Mommy and I weren't so sure I needed a bath (it's not like I've been rolling in the dirt), but I am feeling pretty fresh right now.



Why does dad look so happy to torture me?

I've got to be honest, things these days really aren't as rough as I make them out to be.  Sometimes I don't think Mom and Dad know exactly what they are doing, but I give them a break most of the time because they try really hard.  I sleep most of the day and during my waking hours, people talk to me in funny voices and make a big deal about pretty much everything I do (which admittedly, is limited at this point in my life).  I am also a big fan of eating.   I have a limited menu but it makes decisions easy and it's always right there when I need it.  Other than that, I put most of my energy into looking cute.  And not to toot my own horn, but I think I'm pretty good at it.

 

Blogging is exhausting!