With Brady's birthday coming up and Mother's Day just completed, I thought I do some reflection. My first year of motherhood has been a great one, probably the best of my 29 years. So I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how I became the mom of a child that I bared (I promise, my rapping starts and ends there). Actually, I'll just tell you what I'm thankful for.
1) A healthy baby. So many things have to go right in order for a healthy baby to be born. Yes, the odds are always in your favor that everything will go right, but that doesn't make it any less miraculous when it does.
2) A healthy, happy baby. First, you want them to be healthy. But to be healthy and happy...that's a gift that keeps on giving.
3) An great husband. Sure, he's not perfect...like right now he's snoring on the couch beside me so loud I can hardly hear myself think...but he's very involved and he loves his family, and that can't be said about every dad out there. And lucky for him, I can't find anything around me close enough to throw at him.
4) Resources. I have a lot of these: financial, emotional, physical. It's sad for me to think of the babies out there who are looked after by parents without adequate resources. Having a baby is hard enough when you have everything going for you, but there are lots of people out there (having lots of babies) who don't.
5) Staying at home. It's not for everyone, but it was absolutely the right choice for me. I am thankful that I had a great job that I enjoyed, but thankful that it wasn't great (or lucrative) enough for me to look back.
6) Writing. It's what I've always loved to do, but it wasn't until I had a baby that I was able to turn it into a job. Funny how things work out. Writing is something I can see myself doing 10 years down the road and I'm thankful for the experience I've gotten at Tar Heel Monthly and the opportunity to break in to the field. Prior to writing for the magazine (and I guess this blog), I'd never written anything that more than a handful of people had ever read, so when I was given the job at the magazine and told to go interview/write, it was thrilling and intimidating at the same time.
7) Running. Yes, I said it. I still don't love it, but I no longer hate it, which is certainly progress. It's still not my excercise of choice, but without access to a gym with childcare, running is the best option. I downloaded a running app the other day (how have I had a Blackberry for over a year and never knew I could get apps?). According to my Smartphone, I ran 4.2 miles at a 9:02 minute pace. Considering there are some killer hills and I was pushing a baby + stroller, I was pretty pleased. This app might be my downfall, however, because as much as I love to know how fast/long I'm running, it's hard for me to resist the urge to get competitive. I feel the need to beat my time, end up killing myself trying to do so, and then dread going out to run the next time because I know it's going to be hard.
8) Kindness of family, friends, aquantainces, and strangers. I think people are intrinsically good and I think babies help bring out those good qualities. Sure, some people don't like kids. You'll always have the guy who will grumble if his seat companion on a flight across the country is a mother and her child, but more often on that same flight, someone will help that mother put her bag in the overhead compartment, pick up the toy car her baby chucked across the aisle, and offer a sympathetic smile if her baby isn't enjoying cruising at 30,000 feet.
I'm trying most to be thankful for the now. So easy to look forward during the first year wanting to know when the baby will roll/sit/crawl/stand/walk/talk/sleep/etc, but I am trying to soak in the present, even when the present isn't so pretty.
And speaking of not pretty, I promised that my rapping was done, but when you feel the flow, you just can't stop it. So I'll leave you with this:
We went up to the bed about seven or eight
And I yelled to the baby 'Yo homes feed ya later'
I looked to my famly
I was finally there
I dont get to sleep much but I dont even care
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